’71 [used]

Low budget British cinema often has a stigma attached to it. People think that it’s just dark, gloomy, depressing social realism. That description sums up ’71 pretty well but don’t let that put you off, the film is so much more. ’71 showcase the best things British cinema has to offer, showing the world you don’t need lots of money to make an outstanding film. It’s brutal, tense, brilliantly directed and acted, and is one of the best British films in years.

Out now on Blu-Ray and DVD comes ’71, which follows British soldier Gary Hook (played by 2015’s BAFTA Rising Star Award winner Jack O’Connell) as he is deployed in Belfast during the conflict between Catholic Nationalists who want Northern Ireland to join the Eire and Protestant Loyalists who want Northern Ireland to remain part of the UK. Under the command of an inexperienced leader his regiment are sent in for protection duty only to quickly retreat. One problem though, Hook gets left behind, surrounded by people who want him dead. Between the IRA and a group of corrupt undercover British agents, Hook’s chances of getting out alive look pretty slim. Imagine a British version of Black Hawk Down with all the unimportant aspects stripped away leaving a short, tense, uncompromising thriller and you wouldn’t be far off. The film is directed by newcomer Yann Demange. He directs the film with such ferocity that you might occasionally forget to take a breath. And apart from a couple of instances, the film never really lets up. One particular moment where Hook (and the audience with him) can finally take a breather and rest up is suddenly, and explosively, disrupted before the film grabs you again and doesn’t let go. This is aided by a quiet eerie soundtrack, and sometimes lack of soundtrack, that makes the action seem real and believable, and just all that more frightening. The film also doesn’t take sides in the conflict and both sides are seen as a mixture of individually good and bad people. Perhaps the undercover British agents are shown a little too one dimensionally, but this doesn’t let the film down. 

The film’s star, Jack O’Connell does a brilliant job here as Gary Hook, the films scared, mostly silent protagonist. O’Connell makes Hook scarily ordinary, and he certainly isn’t an action hero. He may stalk around with a knife at one point in the film but he’s more horror film final girl than John Rambo. He only fight’s back when he’s got no other choice and even then he doesn’t do a particularly great job of it. He’s just a normal guy in extraordinary circumstances and O’Connell really highlights this, often without saying a word. That’s not to say the film doesn’t have its share of action thriller moments though. There’s a great scene early on in the film that feels reminiscent of the classic foot chase in 90’s action classic Point Break. Demange shoots these scenes in a shaky cam sort of way but unlike most examples of this, it works.

Everything that needs to be seen is seen and the shakiness helps emphasises the confusion felt by the protagonist. In fact the film does this well throughout, intentionally never going into too much detail about events so we as an audience have as little context as our beaten, confused protagonist. The supporting cast are all top notch too and none of them outstay their welcome. For the most part they are just stops on Hook’s horrific journey and their fates are left unanswered. Hook wouldn’t know what happened to them so as an audience we don’t either. But this works and again leaves us as on edge and confused as Gary Hook.

If you want a film that recalls the Irish troubles in the 1970’s in perfect historical detail then ’71 isn’t it. The film isn’t bothered with religious differences or painting either side as good or bad. Instead ’71 is focused on being a taut, tense, edge-of-your-seat thriller and in that it succeeds. The film is an excellent example of low budget British film making done right and is a showcase of up and coming star Jack O’Connell’s talents and the talents of first time film maker Yann Demange.

’71 gets an excellent 5/5.

★★★★★

Tom Bumby

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Paddington [used]

Out now on Blu-ray and DVD, is Paddington worth your time? Or is it another Yogi Bear?

Firstly, let’s go back to November 2014. Before Paddington was released, the BBFC had to classify it - as they do every film. Paddington was rated PG. No surprise there, really. However, the BBFC stated this was for ‘dangerous behaviour, mild threat, mild sex references [and] mild bad language’. SEX references?! Michael Bond, creator of Paddington, was ‘totally amazed’ by this classification. Rightly so! This isn’t Fifty Shades of Paddington. Paddington doesn’t take young women into his Red Room of Marmalade! In any case, the BBFC reworded the certificate advice from ‘sex reference’ to ‘innuendo’. They also made it clear that the ‘mild bad language’ was just ‘a single mumbled use of the word ‘bloody’’. My goodness. An innuendo and a mumbled use of ‘bloody’! What a disgusting, sordid, depraved little film.  

Not really! Paddington is absolutely delightful – don’t worry, there’s nothing here to taint your innocent mind and fill you with evil! I confess, I don’t have a huge relationship with Paddington Bear. My childhood was spent primarily with Jim Henson’s creations, from Sesame Street to The Muppets. I may have had a couple of the books but he’s not a character I hold dear to the heart of my inner child. I went into this film, potentially unlike many, without any fear of leaving angry about what they did to MY Paddington. But I can confidently say that even if you’re a devout worshipper of the little bear, there’s A LOT to like in this lovely film.

For those of you who don’t know, Paddington tells the story of a big-hearted marmalade-loving bear from the forests of ‘Darkest’ Peru who goes on a great adventure to London in search of a new home. Upon arrival to London, our hero is taken in by the dysfunctional Brown family who subsequently name him after the train station they found him at – Paddington. How lovely. But wait! The patriarch of the family doesn’t want Paddington to stay! And oh no, what’s this? An evil taxidermist who wants to capture and stuff Paddington?!

I did feel like the plot got a little bit…much. The fish-out-of-water stuff in the first half was great – Paddington (voiced with an adorable innocence and vulnerability by Ben Whishaw) has great chemistry with all of his human co-stars, especially aforementioned patriarch Mr. Brown (Hugh Bonneville). But I found myself losing interest at some of the rather over-the-top action and tension of the second half with Nicole Kidman’s villain. Whilst it lent itself to some great humour, particularly with Peter Capaldi’s slightly sexually perverted character, it all felt a little tedious and predictable. Understandably it’s there for the kids – children understand the narrative structure better with ‘goodies’ and ‘baddies’. But I could’ve easily watched a whole film of Paddington just trying to understand city life. There’s an excellent scene on the London Underground which is making me chuckle just thinking about it. Oh, Paddington.

Regardless of this small quibble, Paddington really feels like a mature, well-made film. Granted, it has moments of immaturity for the children. But there’s a very Wes Anderson-esque vibe to some of the humour and cinematography that reminded me in particular of The Royal Tenenbaums, The Life Aquatic and Moonrise Kingdom. It wasn’t dumbed down or cheesy in the way of other human/CGI children’s films of late such as the abysmal Smurfs reboot.

Nick Urata provides a brilliant score that adds to the delightful old-fashioned feel of the film. It’s this feel that really helps the film excel. The pacing, the narrative structure, the colour, the humour…everything. It harks back to the good old days of family films, and believe me when I say that this film has something for everyone. Hey parents of the world, I promise you’ll enjoy this. I know you’re probably anxious to sit down with this, but it’s honestly worth your time. It’s so much better than I could’ve ever hoped. Similar to The Lego Movie and even Adventure Time, Paddington is stuffed with quick-fire, sharp, bizarre humour. It’s impossible to not chuckle. It’s just such a delightful film.

Everybody who saw it has probably repressed it by now, but do you remember 2010’s Yogi Bear reboot? That was a perfect example of how NOT to make a film about a food-loving hat-wearing CGI bear. Rest assured, lovers of food-loving hat-wearing CGI bears! Order has been restored. Paddington is wonderful. You know what? This is a difficult film to review from a ‘grown-up’ point of view. I suppose all that is left to say is this. Watching it made me feel like a kid again, like no other contemporary kids film has. It made me forget all my troubles, all the bad things in the world, all the grief that comes with growing up. Within the few minutes, I was a child again.

It also made me very proud to be British. Bravo, Paddington. Bravo indeed old chap, 5/5.

★★★★★

Sam Love

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The Top 5 Playstation 2 RPGs [used]

RPG's are awesome. What other genre could you play that instantly sucks you into a world, all the while keeping you there for 50+ hours? That's an RPG, man. While many gamers are focused on the Playstation 4 and Xbox One, I thought I'd go back, back beyond the current generation of systems... and back even further than that. It only seems like yesterday that the Playstation 2 was out, but it's been just about a decade since it was in its prime. Hard to believe, but what's even harder to believe is the fact that back then you probably missed out on a few great titles, as I know I did. Don't worry though as I'm here to help you out. Here at the top 5 PS2 RPG's.

Star Ocean: Till the End of Time

I'll always remember Star Ocean: Till the End of Time, as when I got it as a Christmas present back in 2004, I was a little annoyed to find out it was the third game in the series. You see, at that point I didn't play the first two games, Star Ocean and Star Ocean: The Second Story, so I kind of felt like most of the game might pass me by. However, fear not as the Star Ocean series, despite always taking place in the same universe, are separate stories. Till the End of Time places you in the shoes of a generic anime boychild called Fayt (see what they did there, eh?), who finds himself taken from his technologically advanced world and placed on the planet of Vanguard, a primitive place embroiled in conflict. Together with a group of companions, Fayt will not only try and get home, but ultimately discover something about the world- and his very existence- that makes for one of the best gaming plot twists ever. Like seriously, it's jaw-dropping.

Till the End of Time is an excellent RPG. Though some of the characters might be a bit grating at times, the plot eventually comes together to make something very memorable indeed. Added onto this is the combat, which instead of going down the usual RPG route of being turn-based, lets the player fight in real-time. With a massive layer of customization on top of that and a world that is beautifully designed to explore, Till the End of Time is a must-play.

Persona 4

Here's another series I got into when it was already an established franchise, but thankfully not one that needs you to play its previous releases to know what's going on. When I first played Persona 4 it was like a weird blend of Shenmue, Pokemon, Final Fantasy and, strangely enough, The Ring film series. An odd combination for sure, but it works utterly perfectly. Taking place in the small Japanese town of Inaba, you take on the role of a group of students who try and solve a growing number of grisly murders that have befallen the town. The real kicker here is that these murders originate from a parallel universe... inside the the towns TVs. You're a student by day and alternative TV universe warrior by night, and the game is both insanely creepy and balls to the wall light-hearted. It's brilliant.

In Persona 4 combat follows the usual RPG turn-based template, but the addition of “Personas” really make it interesting. Personas are effectively projections of humans who enter the parallel universe, and these Personas help you fight the “Shadows” that inhabit the TV world. They're grand in both design and ability, and over the course of the game you can find new Personas, as well as create news ones from scratch from fusing two together. It's an excellent aspect of the game, and building your Personas up is like training some kind of twisted Pokemon. The game is great at creating a realistic atmosphere too, as being a student you need to study and attend school, so sometimes though you'll be itching to enter the creepy TV world, you just won't have the time. This sounds annoying and limiting, but it really puts you in the shoes of Persona 4's main character.

Shadow Hearts: Covenant

A few years ago I interviewed Jeremy Blaustein, a guy mostly know as the localizer of both Metal Gear Solid and Silent Hill 2, two games that in terms of script and translation, were high points for their respective series. Anyway, one game he kept mentioning was Shadow Hearts: Covenant, as he also worked on it. Though it was long since out at that point I decided to give it a go, and I must say, it quickly became one of my all-time favourites. The plot blends together both various fantasy and real-worlds elements and characters. From including historical individuals such as Rasputin and Anastasia, to letting the player do battle with creatures and demons, Covenant is a bizarre concoction that works incredibly well.

Covenant is simply just a solid RPG. It doesn't do anything incredibly new in terms of combat or exploration, but when it comes to its story, its flawed and tragic characters and its superb use of real-world elements, it's unparalleled. Also, for a Playstation 2 game released in 2003 it visually stills holds up pretty well, and also features one of the best gaming soundtracks to date.

Kingdom Hearts 2

I can't wait for Kingdom Hearts 3. Since the release of the original Kingdom Hearts back in 2002, the series has been crying out for some kind of a resolution. Granted the plot of the series at this point is a little bit shit, but it still needs an ending. Kingdom Hearts 2 bettered the original in every way, and added upon the fantastic foundation the Final Fantasy/Disney crossover cemented. Its plot won't stick with you as it drones on for hours and hours, but in terms of a select few characters, its Disney themed locations and its delicious combat system, Kingdom Hearts 2 is a classic.

The initial joy of Kingdom Hearts 2 is exploring the various Disney inspired locations you'll venture to. To visiting the world of TRON and taking on the deadly MCP, adventuring with Captain Jack Sparrow from The Pirates of the Caribbean film series, to doing battle with Oogie Boogie from The Nightmare Before Christmas, Kingdom Hearts 2 lets you explore the worlds you most likely fell in love with when you where younger. On top of that you also get to interact with various Final Fantasy characters such as Cloud, Cid, Squall, Tifa and Sephiroth, which, if you're like me, will never cease giving you a giddy nerd thrill. The games superb locales and excellent caricaturisation is topped off by its free-form combat. It's rather easy and mostly relies of button bashing, but there's nothing quite like cutting through hordes of “Heartless”, the series' main go-to choice of cannon fodder. Despite its terrible storyline and lack of difficulty, Kingdom Hearts 2 will be very much unforgettable for any Disney and/or Final Fantasy fans out there.

Final Fantasy XII

I didn't really enjoy Final Fantasy X. I'd be burnt at the stake if I said that amongst hardcore Final Fantasy fans, as the series' tenth incarnation is seen as one of the best. It just didn't really do much for me. However, though I pretty much stopped loving the franchise at that point, Final Fantasy XII quickly changed my ways. Looking completely different than Final Fantasy X while also approaching gameplay in an entirely different way, the game stands out to me as one of the best in the series. In a change up from the snore-fest that was X's central love story, XII gets back to the series roots- warring kingdoms, badass knights in armour, revenge and a diverse array of races and talking creatures to interact with.

The combat is nothing like previous titles in the series, and this put off many hardcore fans upon release. That's a shame though, as XII is an all round wonderful game. Though getting around towns, interacting with characters and taking on quests is very much in line with what you'd expect from a typical Final Fantasy game, the combat mechanics are not. Much like Till the End of Time, XII is a lot more free-form in terms of combat, and at times feels very like an offline MMO. I know that sounds like a terrible idea, but the combat really pays off the more you get into it. Topped off with a semi-open world/large play areas and a truly superb upgrading system, this just might be the best Final Fantasy you never played.

Denis Murphy

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Fury [used]

Out now on DVD and Blu-ray we have Fury. A film the quote on the case says is “the best war film since Saving Private Ryan and Platoon”. That’s lofty praise. Does Fury live up to it?

Fury follows an American tank crew in WWII, a part of the war other films have barely touched upon. The crew is made up a cast of colourful characters headed by Wardaddy, played by Brad Pitt. When one member of the crew dies they need a new recruit, that’s where Logan Lerman’s Norman comes in. He is us, the audience. He’s seeing all of the horrors for the first time as we are. And there are plenty of horrors throughout Fury’s 2-hour runtime. 

Set during the final weeks and months of WWII, Fury see’s the tank and her crew rolling through Germany and gunning down Nazi’s. But the real focus of the film is on the crew and the camaraderie between men in times of absolute horror. Like director David Ayer previous film End of Watch¸ Fury deals with a lot of male bonding. And like End of Watch, you don’t expect it to be as effective and often heart wrenching as it is.

One reason it is so effective is the fabulous acting of everyone involved. Brad Pitt is excellent as the commanding but often brutal Wardaddy, tempting you to hate him but then pulling it back with a moment of humanity. Logan Lerman is awesome as the new recruit, there against his will but forming a connection with these men. The big surprise for me was Shia LaBeouf. As the religious ‘Bible’ he is in charge of the cannon on the tank. And he is excellent, putting up with all the crap the guys throw at him about his religion and keeping his faith in even the worst situations. The film would be great if it was just two hours of dialogue between these guys.

The action in the film is spectacular also. It’s realistic, gory, dirty and just brutal. One great scene see’s Fury and three other tanks go up against a German Tiger tank and almost get wiped out. You almost can’t breathe during it and the eye to detail on everything from the gunfire to the orders yelled inside the tank is just brilliant.

As I mentioned earlier, Fury does not shy away from the horrors of war. A few critics picked up on this and criticised the film for being almost pornographic in its level of violence. I think ultimately it comes down to taste. It is often horrible and shocking, but damn it gets a response out of you. The final scene of the movie, and the last 45 minutes, is one huge action sequence which sees the Fury up against about 300 SS Soldiers. It’s the most intense action scene I’ve seen in a long time and it gives the final battle in Saving Private Ryan a run for it’s money. Nazi’s get cut apart, blown to pieces, shot and stabbed. If that doesn’t sound like your cup of tea, then Fury may not be for you.

In Fury war is war. The crew is used to it, they’ve seen it all and they’re in it for payback. The film doesn’t want you to spend time reflecting on the horrors of it all, this is just how it is. As Wardaddy tells Norman, ‘History is violent.’ Ultimately the film is about the bromance. About a group of guys who are resigned to fighting and dying surrounded by their best friends. It’s sad but also poignant. As the crew of the Fury says after taking out a regiment of Nazis, “Best job I ever had.” A lot of WWII stories hinge on the relationships formed in foxholes and Fury does it as well as I’ve ever seen.

Fury fully earns its full marks, 5/5.

★★★★★

Jack Bumby

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Tales of an Ancient Empire [used]

Like I said during my review of The Scorpion King 4: Quest for Power, I'm a huge fan of fantasy films. Give me anything that has people swinging swords, monsters, adventure and a great fantasy setting and I'm hooked. However, it's a genre that hard to get right if a film production has a low budget. A high budget doesn't make a film of course, but it certainly helps when much of the success a genre rides on depicting a different, exciting and bizarre world. On one hand you have The Lord of the Rings, a stunningly designed trilogy that literally transports the viewer to the land of Middle-Earth. From high atop the Misty Mountains to the dangerous depths of Ered Nimrais, the world is perfectly constructed and pulls the viewer in almost immediately. On the other hand you have a film like Tales of an Ancient Empire, which has about as much world building as a knock-off box of Lego's.

Directed by Albert Pyun and out now on Blu-Ray and DVD comes Tales of an Ancient Empire, a film that easily falls into the so-bad-it's-good category because, simply put, it's a piece of fun shit. You may have never heard the name Albert Pyun before, but chances are you've seen some of his films. He directed Jean Claude Van Damme in 1989's Cyborg, as well as the 1992 film Nemesis, a film that spawned three sequels, with each one being worse than the one that came before it. Basically, Pyun makes a lot of crap, but some of it is fun crap. Tales of an Ancient Empire isn't a lot of fun, but it's like watching a train full of clowns crash- sure it's bloody and horrifying, but you just can't take your eyes of the multicoloured hilarious spectacle. 

Tales of an Ancient Empire is a sequel to The Sword and the Sorcerer, Pyun's first feature film he made back in 1982. I saw it years ago and found it to be decent enough, but I'll always remember at the start of the credits it said “Watch out for Talon's next adventure- Tales of an Ancient Empire- Coming Soon”. Well, needless to say that didn't happen any time “soon”, as it's now 32 years on from that initial teaser. The plot is really simple, and effectively focuses on a princess in search for her estranged father. But no, not because she wants to reconnect with the guy, but rather so he can help her kicks the ass of Xia, a female vampire that was recently unearthed and now threatens the kingdom of Abelar. The princess also recruits a few others for the battle ahead, with one of them being none other than Kevin Sorbo, you know, that guy who's a big Christian and played Hercules in that TV show.

Oh man. Oh man oh man, Kevin Sorbo is desperate. I know he needs to eat, but shit, this dude must have one colossal appetite for crap. Everything is bad in Tales of an Ancient Empire, but as soon as Sorbo appeared I burst out laughing. Don't get me wrong though, as I actually really like him in Hercules and, from what I can see online, he seems like a decent dude. But since his days of Hercules you kind of know you're in for an awful film when he's the lead. That said, the rest of the cast are much worse, with most of them looking like their either z-list actors or porn actors looking for their first acting gig. They roll around from set piece to set piece doing their best to read the script they're given without breaking down and crying. And sorry Albert, you can throw all the muscles and gigantic cleavages at us all you want, it doesn't hide the fact that your film is jam packed with actors with less charisma than a packet of Quavers.

Visually the film is a mess. I've seen it time and time again, and Tales of an Ancient Empire falls into the pitfall of using both a lot of green-screen and colour filters. The film occasionally makes use of some pretty bad green-screen, and when it's used it's painfully obvious. But the worst offender is the use of colour filters. I don't know why so many low-budget films use colour filters lately, but Tales of an Ancient Empire is completely covered with them. This becomes an issue as every scene looks washed out, blurry and either bright yellow or muted blue. It looks ugly and that, coupled together with the shitty green-screen, terrible cgi and cardboard actors, ultimately makes it a complete mess of a film.

But you know what? I had fun watching it. I did, seriously. Yes it's a complete pile of dog muck, but I sat there with my girlfriend taking the piss out of it and laughing at how awful it was. It's watchable if you can enjoy bad films. If you can't, avoid it like the plague. And to think, there must be someone out there who waited 32 years for this abomination. I feel bad for them.

Tales of an Ancient Empire is a watchable catastrophe and gets a 2/5.

★★☆☆☆

Denis Murphy

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Dynasty Warriors 8: Empires [used]

The Dynasty Warriors series has been around now for quite some time and, in truth, they've stuck to a tried and tested method for the entirety of the franchise. Save for an increase in budget to the boob-design department since Koei's merger with Tecmo, developer of such ludicrously jiggle-tastic titles as Ninja Gaiden, the Dynasty Warriors games' formula has remained relatively identical to its' earliest roots; a hack-and-slash game, with simple, easy to master combination attacks, and one super charged Musou attack. Additional features have come and gone, and the basis has always been evolved from title to title, but this solid core of gameplay has remained the same. 

Developed by Omega Force and out now on  Playstation 4, Playstation 3, Xbox One and PC comes Dynasty Warriors 8: Empires, the latest of the series' Hack-and-slash-meets-strategy-game-thing. The Empires series itself has been around for a while and is one of my personal favourites. The game diverges from the base story line, which to dedicated fans of the series, is as familiar as their own right hand; and lets players have a more direct impact on the game world, by allowing them to plan and undertake their own battles, form their own kingdoms, and ignore the same old series of events that have been repeated since the games' very early days - a dramatised version of China's Three Kingdoms periods, based heavily on the book, Romance of the Three Kingdoms. 

Overall, the game plays as well as any other before it, and ought to be an instant hit with fans of the series. A number of features return from previous iterations, but are vastly improved upon. For instance, the Edit Mode returns, but the choices for creating your own playable character are expanded, giving players virtually limitless combinations with which to create their ideal character. Edit Mode also now allows players to customise their own horse, banner and even soldiers, allowing you to use a fully unique army when attempting to personally conquer all of China, possibly one of the most satisfying things the game has to offer. There's untold joy to be had in slaying great warlords like Lu Bu and Cao Cao, with some guy called Dave, backed buy an army of men dressed in fluorescent pink.

As for the combat, the game remains true to it's X-Y combo mechanic, making for extremely pleasing crowd killing combos, without being too complicated to master in a few short attempts. The combat is what the series has always done best, as you cut through swathes of enemy soldiers, and watch as your KO Count soars into the hundreds. Despite the incredibly fast pace of the combat, you always feel in control thanks to the extremely intuitive combos. It can become a little repetitive, and unless you crank the difficulty all the way up, there's no real challenge, but endless fun to be had. The in-battle strategy still feels a little lacking, pretty much reduced to 'go to X, kill this many people. Repeat,' which, for a game trying to lean in the direction of a strategy game is a bit of a let down. However, the Empire mode somewhat makes up for it.

The choices present to players between battles yet again improved, blending features of both strategy games and RPGs, as players have choices that will assist their kingdom, or go on quests in search of personal gain. Perhaps it's still lacking in depth, as the Dynasty Warriors series has always put all its eggs in the fighting basket, so much of what you do has little noticeable impact, and you'd be just as successful letting your sword do the politics.

To conclude, the game is another good Dynasty Warriors game, perhaps the best one to date. It certainly holds its own against much bigger titles, and will undoubtedly keep you entertained for a significant amount of time. There is, however, one huge drawback of this particular title which will keep it from making headlines anywhere outside of Japan: The developers chose not to re-dub the game in English, or any other language. There are translated subtitles, some in hilarious broken English, but no English-speaking voice acting. With this in mind, then, I feel the game will be popular with fans of the franchise, at the very least - but the lack of an English dub will prevent it from winning over anyone else.

I give Dynasty Warriors 8: Empires a respectable, if a little disappointing 3/5.

★★★☆☆

Adam Freeman

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Bladestorm: Nightmare [used]

I'm no expert on the Dynasty Warriors series. I've played around two of them, and though the hack-and-slash genre isn't exactly my go-to genre of choice, I've found them to be pretty fun. Dynasty Warriors was a spin-off of Romance of the Three Kingdoms, a game released for the Amiga and MSX in 1985. Originally starting as a pretty straight forward Beam 'em-up on the original Playstation back in 1997, Dynasty Warriors then expanded into the realm of having the player take on entire armies all at once. Outside of the main series- which by the way has around 14 titles under its belt- the franchise itself also has a shit-tin of spin-offs, crossovers, etc. From Hyrule Warriors that lets you command Link in the midst of a gigantic Deku Scrub battle, to the Gundam series that allows you go toe-to-toe with various massive Mechs, the franchise is clearly flourishing. However, this latest offering from Omega Force, despite looking quite similar to Dynasty Warriors, pulls its attention away from the Han dynasty in China and instead sights its sights on France and England during The Hundred Year's War. Does it stand apart from the Dynasty Warriors series, or is this just a re-skinned version of a game you've played many times before?

Developed by Omega Force and out now on Playstation 4, Playstation 3 and Xbox One comes Bladestorm: Nightmare; a game that you'll enjoy if you liked the Dynasty Warriors series, but will hate if, well, you didn't. Nightmare is actually a re-release of the 2007 game Bladestorm: The Hundred Years' War. I haven't played The Hundred Year's War, but Nightmare doesn't just visually upgrade the game, but also changes some elements to the gameplay, most importantly with the addition of 2-player online co-op. As I said before, Nightmare takes place during The Hundred Year's War, a conflict (or rather a number of strung together conflicts) that embroiled England and France in bloody warfare between 1337 to 1453. That's not to say it's completely historically accurate though, as in Nightmare there are creatures including Goblins, Dragons and the like. Whereas Dynasty Warriors places you in the shoes of  famous figures in Chinese history, Nightmare goes down the opposite path and puts in the role of a generic freelance commander. Before each battle you can choose which side to fight for, and as expected battles are large scale, expansive and incredibly hectic.

Compared to what Dynasty Warriors does (and yes, you'll see a lot of Dynasty Warriors comparisons here), the character you control in Nightmare isn't a fantastic fighter. Instead, the person you're controlling is more adept with commanding other fighters. In fact, though Dynasty Warriors (and yes, I'm getting sick of typing that) fans will love this game, Nightmare isn't about bashing buttons. Once a mission has been started, you start out on the battlefield. As the freelance commander, you must run around and essentially rally various garrisons across the battlefield. Taking a command of a garrison literally puts them under your control, so instead of just running around and slamming the attack button amidst a giant enemy army, in Nightmare you must wage various large and small scale wars across a rather big battlefield. There's a huge array of fighters and weapons to use too, so throughout a mission you'll find yourself playing through a number of fighting styles.

Switching from garrison to garrison occurs easily, and once you get a nice in-depth battle going, it can be pretty exciting. Whether you're surrounded by a sea of bodies, splintered shields and swords, or simply just standing back a bit and watching a f*cking massive battle take place, Nightmare is a game that is both equally fun to watch as well as take part. It's a nice change-up in pace compared to Omega Force's other efforts, and it could easily be considered the smarter brother of Dynasty Warriors. Like I said, fans of Omega Force's other series will slip into Nightmare pretty easily, but even newcomers to all things Omega Force will find their feet quickly enough after their second battle or so.

Overall Bladestorm: Nightmare is a pretty decent game. It's the kind of game that will most likely become monotonous to most gamers out there though. Personally, after 20 or so hours of large scale battles, the appeal of it was starting to run dry. There's only so many times I can command an army of 200 fighters while trying to take on a Cyclops, after all. But before that sunk in I had a lot of fun. Packaged alongside a whole slew of extras including the original The Hundred Year's War campaign from 2007, Nightmare is certainly a game to look into if you're a fan of large scale battles, commanding multiple armies at once, taking on a evil Joan of Arc who has an army of Dragons and the chance to do all of this during co-op with a friend by your side.

Bladestorm: Nightmare cuts its way through the competition and gets a 3/5.

★★★☆☆

Denis Murphy

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Final Fantasy Type-0 HD [used]

I'm a huge fan of Final Fantasy. Well, I was a huge fan of Final Fantasy. Though I loved the series during the Final Fantasy VII, VIII and IX (Playstation) era, when I played Final Fantasy X back in 2001 I just wasn't feeling it. Sure, it had fantastic graphics for the time and the gameplay was fun, but  the plot and chracters just didn't cut it for me. Though I loved Final Fantasy XII, I haven't really enjoyed the series since then. But as of late I'm finding myself once again hyped by Final Fantasy games, namely the upcoming Final Fantasy XV. However, before that's released yet another Final Fantasy game has just landed, and this is a HD remaster of an old Playstation Portable title. So, how does it fare?

Developed by Square Enix and out now on Playstation 4 and Xbox One comes Final Fantasy Type-0 HD; a spin-off of the main series that is easily better than Square Enix's 3 previous Final Fantasy games. Type-0 HD was originally released back in 2011 for the Playstation Portable, but despite great reviews within the Japanese press, a Western release never materialized. That said, since its original release and before this HD remaster, fans of the series did create an English language patch for the PSP version, but that's now a bit useless to be honest. This remaster reworks the graphics in HD and slightly tweaks the gameplay. I played a chunk of Type-0 on the PSP back in 2013, and though I did enjoy my time with it, I kept thinking that it would work better on a console. It does, as this latest release feels like it unburdens the game to show off its true potential.

The plot and characters in Type-0 HD are kind of like if the Harry Potter and Final Fantasy series had a baby. The fact that you're a student in a magic school will interest Harry Potter fans, while the messy and convoluted plot will make Final Fantasy fans fit right in. The plot focuses on an ever raging war between four nations. Each nation has its own unique crystal which grands them a powerful ability. You take on the role of Class Zero; a group of 14 students from Vermillion Peristylium, the nation that holds a crystal that lets them control magic. As Class Zero you're tasked with fighting the other three opposing nations, and are given missions that range from attacking towns, defending bases to simply wiping out an opposing force. Simply put Type-0 HD's focus is war. It's a new and interesting concept for the series, but it quickly loses itself with terms such as “l'Cie” and “Agito”, and ultimately falls into the usual, “I'm liking this game but have no idea what's going half of the time!” Final Fantasy pitfall. Come on, we've all been there, don't lie.

Like any self respecting Final Fantasy, Type-0 HD puts a large chunk of its focus on combat. However, those expecting the usual Active Time Battle system in which you take and turn and then wait for your opponents response here will be disappointed. Instead, combat in Type-0 HD is free form, fast paced and incredibly fun. Despite the change-up in direction to combat compared to other Final Fantasy games, the usual array of items and spells are here. From Fira to Firaga and Cura to Curaga, this is both the Final Fantasy you know and love as well as new, exciting uncharted territory. The beauty about Type-0 HD's combat is the fact that every single member of Class Zero- and that's a grand total of 14 members- have different and unique abilities and weapons. From students that rely on ranged combat using pistols, quick and nimble attacks using whips to a slow, powerful and lumbering fighter armed simply with a sword, there's a great selection available here. Each team member may look generic due to their lazy character design (thanks again Nomura!), but there's diversity where it counts. Regardless of what kind of team you assemble from the 14 students available, combat is more akin to, say, Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII then Final Fantasy I-X.

After each military campaign you're given a time limit that counts down until the next campaign. This is technically down time for Class Zero, but in Type-0 HD you need to still get some work done, and this forces the player to manage their free time. You can use this free time to do what you want. From making your way around the school to chat with the vast array of characters going about their business, taking on side missions given to you by other characters, training and building up your characters before the next mission, or heading out into the world to battle some huge creatures, the time limit in place here forces you to use your time wisely. There's also a real-time strategy element to the game that plays out on the world map. It's an interesting diversion from the typical combat system in Type-0 HD, but it never really nails the potential it clearly has. Another welcome diversion is Chocobo breeding, a feature which has become a staple of the Final Fantasy series, and one that Type-0 HD does a great job with. With more breeding options, outcomes and the possibility of using the creatures in battle as an ally, it's a feature that's not to be overlooked.

Overall Final Fantasy Type-0 HD is an excellent entry in the series. Granted the story gets very muddled the more the characters drone on, and though there's no excuse for how contrived the plot gets, it doesn't drag down the gameplay. It has slick combat that is both incredibly easy to get into and highly customizable, and a visual HD upgrade that stays true to the original but makes it far more beautiful. Sure the story is balls, but the game itself is bloody great.

Final Fantasy Type-0 HD is a fantastic HD upgrade and gets a 4/5.

★★★★☆

Denis Murphy

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The Top 5 American Comedies [used]

We all love a good laugh, don’t we? And sometimes we NEED it. If there’s one thing America knows how to do, it’s make us chuckle. Here is a selection of some of the finest American comedy TV known to humanity. In choosing only 5, sacrifices had to be made. I tried to make a wide range instead of choosing 5 laugh-track filled sitcoms. There is a selection at the bottom that didn’t make the cut. In no particular order…

Seinfeld

Well, of course this had to be here. Seinfeld is widely regarded as the funniest sitcom ever made – hell, in 2002, TV Guide named Seinfeld the greatest television program of all time. If you can stand the laugh track and general 90s sitcom feel, then you’ll be rewarded. Seinfeld is gold, readers. Gold. Following a stand-up comedian (Jerry Seinfeld, playing a fictional version of himself), we spend most of our time in his apartment with him and his unusual group of friends. Seinfeld is renowned for being about ‘nothing’, with unusually mundane and trivial plotlines in which not a lot happens. But it is deserving of its countless awards and titles, and certainly worth owning. And it is only right to give an honourable mention here to Curb Your Enthusiasm, a spiritual sequel to Seinfeld in which the co-creator Larry David plays a fictional version of himself in similarly mundane comedy perfection. The cast of Seinfeld cameo as themselves in Curb regularly, with amusing results.

The complete Seinfeld is available on DVD now, as are the first 8 seasons of Curb Your Enthusiasm.

Entourage

Entourage tells the story of fictional actor Vincent Chase and his entourage of friends as they try and navigate the tricky world of Hollywood. Produced by HBO, you know you’ve got a show of quality. With no laugh track and an overarching plot throughout the series, this isn’t a sitcom. But it IS funny. Ari Gold, Vincent’s manager played by Jeremy Piven, is pure comedic genius and steals every scene he is in – quite simply, Piven owns the show. The rest of the cast all have their chances to shine too though, particularly Kevin Dillon in the role of Johnny ‘Drama’ Chase, Vincent’s brother. Absolutely rammed with often hilarious celebrity cameos, Entourage is a damn fine show that doesn’t get nearly enough praise here in the UK. Check it out, but give it a couple of seasons to grow into itself. It begins a bit unevenly but finds its feet quickly. Get it watched quickly, because the eagerly anticipated Entourage movie is released in cinemas this summer.

The complete Entourage is available on DVD & Blu-Ray now.

Arrested Development

An obvious choice in any list of the best American comedy shows. Arrested Development is unlike any other programme on television now, or in the history of TV. In simple terms, it tells the story of a wealthy and hilariously dysfunctional family. Shows like Modern Family owe a lot to it, but nothing else has come close to its quirky style and endless in-jokes, foreshadowing and self-aware humour. With a perfect cast including Jason Bateman, Will Arnett, David Cross and more, the show is like a hall of fame of modern American comedy stars and you’ll spend a lot of the time going “Oh wow, that guy!”. The first 2 seasons are perfection, the 3rd begins a bit of a decline and the 4th was rather disappointing. But when taken as a whole, Arrested Development is a hilarious series. For the few left who haven’t seen it, get on it. An endlessly rewatchable modern classic.

The complete Arrested Development is available on DVD & Blu-Ray now.

The Office: An American Workplace

The show that launched Steve Carrell’s career. The Office is a mockumentary about the everyday lives of a group of paper salespeople, and their hapless boss Michael Scott (Carrell). Adapted from the highly acclaimed (but arguably weaker) British series starring Ricky Gervais, An American Workplace stands firmly on its own two feet as a comedy classic. While the first season was, quite frankly, poor – it was essentially a remake of the British show using extremely similar scripts – the show found its own identity in the second season and grew from there. Sadly Steve Carrell left the show in the final seasons, and his presence is greatly missed when he’s gone. But the show knew when to bow out gracefully and, like Arrested Development, when taken as a whole you can’t fault it.

The complete The Office: An American Workplace is available on DVD & Blu-Ray now.

Eastbound & Down

Finally, a choice that may divide you fine readers. Eastbound & Down has a strong following of fans, just not a very large one! In the 2nd HBO production in this list, Danny McBride (‘that guy’ from Pineapple Express, Tropic Thunder, This is the End, Your Highness, and more) plays a vulgar character who you hate yourself for loving so much. A washed up ex-baseball player, Kenny begins the first season becoming a school P.E. teacher before relocating to Mexico in the second and the plot just gets more bizarre from there. But if you like the current crude style of comedy practiced by the likes of Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill in cinema, then you’ll love this. With cameos from familiar faces such as Will Ferrell and Don Johnson, you can feel the money being spent on this show more than you can with generic sitcoms. Some say the comedy is a little too crude and offensive. Me, I wouldn’t have Kenny any other way.

The complete Eastbound & Down is available on DVD & Blu-Ray now.

Again, similar to the list of TV drama, there are simply too many shows to choose from and inevitably in the process of choosing 5, many will be left out. So here’s a few that didn’t make the cut. I admit, some of these I don’t like, some of them I do – but comedy is completely subjective so I won’t be biased. If it’s something easy with a laugh-track you’re after, go for something like Friends, The Big Bang Theory, or How I Met Your Mother. You like mockumentaries, but The Office isn’t you bag? Try Parks & Recreation or Modern Family. If you’re keen for some animation, you can’t go wrong with Family Guy, American Dad, Archer or The Simpsons. “But what about classic sitcoms?!”, I hear you cry! Well how about Cheers, Frasier, Taxi and M*A*S*H. Again, there are many more but too many to mention, too little time!

Thanks for reading. Keep laughing!

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Dying of the Light [used]

Things have been going in a strange direction for Nicolas Cage as of late. The recent Left Behind was possibly the worst film he’s ever been involved in. Out now on DVD and Blu-ray, does Dying of the Light fare any better? 

Before we get stuck into Dying of the Light, we have to talk about the elephant in the room. The elephant called Paul Schrader. Behind the scenes, Dying of the Light was in trouble for a while. Reports of the film being taken away from director Schrader’s control led to him and the film’s stars publicly removing themselves from the film. OK, these sort of problems usually spell disaster for a film. But some of the greatest films of all time had difficult productions, like Blade Runner, Apocalypse Now or Jaws. On these films it’s not obvious that there were difficulties behind the scenes. You wouldn’t be able to tell unless you looked into it. Is Dying of the Light one of these films? Of course it isn’t! Strap yourself in for a Cagey ride. 

The premise of Dying of the Light (the title a reference to the famous Dylan Thomas poem) is original and actually very interesting. Evan Lake (Cage) a CIA agent with a very serious form of dementia vows to track down Muhammad Banir (Alexander Karim), a terrorist who caused him a world of pain decades earlier. The CIA say he’s not worth taking out but to Lake it’s personal so he sets out on a personal revenge mission without the help of the agency. So the premise is cool, but they don’t do anything with it! It’s said that the dementia will cause visions and random mood swings. Having the sufferer of said dementia being played by an actor with the off-the-wall style of Cage, and Dying of the Light should have been one of the most amazing things mankind ever created.

The actors are generally good however. Whilst Cage doesn’t get the opportunity to really let loose like in the good old days, he’s a hell of a lot more energetic than he’s been in recent films (*cough* Left Behind *cough*). Cage’s trusty protégé is played by Anton Yelchin doing what can only be described as a ‘gritty’ accent. But he’s good and does the majority of the running in the movie. Karim is spectacularly hammy as the terrorist Banir. It’s pretty fun whenever he’s on screen and his and Cage’s showdown together is batshit crazy. 

The tone of Dying of the Light is like Lake’s moods, all over the damn place. One minute you’re watching a run-of-the-mill thriller/espionage movie, nothing special about it. Then something crazy happens. Like Yelchin’s character just slits a dude’s throat. The camera lingers on the blood pouring out of this guy’s neck and then no one makes a big deal out of it. They just carry on with the boring stuff.  Another moment sees Cage stick his finger right into someone’s eye like he’s popping out the plastic pieces for an Airfix model. Unfortunately these moments are too few and far between to recommend the film purely on the surprise factor.

In yet another connection with Cage’s snoozefest Left Behind, this film suffers from the same preachiness as that religious misfire. This time it’s politics and ‘Murica. And boy is it in your face. Numerous shots see Cage framed by an American Flag, but wait! This flag has a hole burned into the middle! What could it mean?! Aside from the obvious symbolism, the movie often deviates into angry rants about American ideals and problems within the CIA and other institutions. The whole film could have been this thriller with an allegorical edge, a movie with brains behind it. But any hope it had of making these lofty themes mean anything disappears in the last ten minutes as the film becomes a badly made action film.

What could have been a smart, topical movie becomes yet another forgettable thriller. The difference here being that it leaves you so very enraged about what the movie almost was. Fans of Cage will enjoy it however for the committed performance he gives. Everyone else might want to let it go gentle into that good night.

Dying of the Light gets a mediocre 2/5.

★★☆☆☆

Jack Bumby

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Horns [used]

Out now on Blu-Ray and DVD comes Horns,the tale of a young man who, after being accused of killing his childhood sweetheart, suddenly wakes up horns growing out of his forehead and rocking a devilishly persuasive attitude. Directed by schlock director Alexandre Aja of Piranha 3D and Mirrors fame, Horns is a surprisingly well made flick with a great central performance by Daniel Radcliffe as the hellish Ig Parish.

The original source material for Horns was the novel of the name by Stephen King’s son Joe Hill, and film retains much of the books spirit. Hill’s inspiration from his father is clear in the film which frequently feels like a good Stephen King adaptation. It’s got the flashbacks, the group of diverse children (including a girl and a fat one), a character dealing with addiction, an unexplainable force, and multitudes of King’s trademark religious references. The film equally belongs to director Alexandre Aja though, who really ups his game from the days of Piranha 3D. Horns is beautifully directed and knowingly over-the-top with Aja fully embracing the craziness of the horror/fantasy genre. As well as being a visual delight the film has a killer soundtrack too, with music ranging from David Bowie to that one Pixies song, all perfectly implemented into the film.

Perhaps the best thing in the film though is the central performance by Radcliffe. His last grown up role in The Woman in Black wasn’t too convincing and people still saw the boy wizard in everything he did. But it seems now in Horns he can finally shake off his Harry Potter trappings. Not only does Radcliffe manage a superb American accent he also manages to bring the strange character of Ig Parish to life. In lesser hands the angsty hoodie wearing Bowie fan may have come off as laughable, but Radcliffe sells it and makes Ig seem extremely realistic.

It’s refreshing to see a horror movie in this day age that doesn’t simply want to shock you with cheap scares or overdone torture porn violence. Horns is occasionally violent and shocking sure, but it’s usually done with its tongue planted firmly in its cheek. It’s more reminiscent of films like Evil Dead 2 and An American Werewolf in London than the cheap torture porn crap people like Eli Roth are constantly churning out. The horror and fantasy parts of Horns hit the mark, and so do the comedy parts. Both work perfectly together and Radcliffe shows he’s got the chops for both genres. The fantasy world is perfectly realised, and even if the rules and reasons behind it aren’t greatly explained Aja directs with such wit and style that it doesn’t really matter. Under the horror and fantasy conventions though is a solid murder mystery; who killed Ig’s girlfriend? Was it actually Ig, or was it one of the many supporting characters like Ig’s brother Terry, he best friend Lee, or even his Dad. To be honest though, there is never much doubt as to who it could be and, for the most part, there are only a couple of options. The mystery is still executed well, even if some of the films moments get lost in the mix between the horror, comedy, fantasy, and murder mystery genres. Perhaps Aja attempts too much in the film but it’s nice to see someone attempting something new with horror genre.

The supporting players in the film are also great, especially Ig’s friend Lee (Max Minghella) and his brother Terry (Joe Anderson). Lee is a goody two shoes lawyer with some secrets bubbling under the surface and Terry is a burnt out addict. Both are acted well and their diversity really brings the world to life. Ig’s dad (played by James Remar) is also enjoyable in the limited time he has. Both he and Ig’s Mum have an emotional scene with Ig but then sort of disappear out if the film. When Ig’s power of persuasion causes everyone else to be hilariously truthful, leading to some pretty funny gags, his interaction with his parents is shockingly sad, but unfortunately isn’t dwelled upon. Despite this, the balance of humour and heart is usually solid, meaning the jokes don’t outstay their welcome and that he film doesn’t get too soppy. It isn’t perfect, but Horns is a surprisingly well made horror fantasy and a great showcase of Radcliffe’s post-Potter acting chops.

Horns is a hell of a film, and gets 4/5.

★★★★☆

Tom Bumby

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The Maze Runner [used]

“Young-adult fiction”, or just “YA”, is a phrase I’ve been hearing a lot lately. I suppose it started around the time the Twilight craze kicked off, when the it’s-cool-to-hate-stuff-that-other-people-like brigade latched onto it as if to say, “Twilight books aren’t proper books, they’re just young-adult books!” But now YA stuff – especially dystopian YA – is everywhere, and The Guardian is peppered with features about how great it all is and why adults should be reading more of it. There’s even a Twitter account, @DystopianYA, dedicated to fondly parodying the genre (“I'm so clumsy. I accidentally spilled the Nutrition we had for dinner all over my grey tunic”). My point being, YA isn’t going anywhere, and neither are the inevitable film adaptations, with their endless sequels.

The latest such adaptation and out now on Blu-Ray and DVD is 2014’s The Maze Runner, directed by Wes Ball and based on the 2009 book of the same name. I’ll tell you now, this film isn’t nearly as classy or smart as The Hunger Games series, but if you’re even slightly familiar with YA tropes, chances are you’re going to find something to like about it. This film has everything: angry robot spiders, a zombie virus, PG-13 swearing, hundreds of unnecessary proper nouns (Glade, Gladers, the Box, the Maze, Blades, Runners, Grievers, etc.), and a sad bit that’s literally identical to a sad bit in the first Hunger Games movie. There’s a lot of naff charm to be found here.

The story plays out in a small grassy area called the Glade, inhabited by a group of boys (Gladers) who’ve been deposited there and left to fend for themselves, one every month, for reasons that aren’t immediately clear. The Glade is surrounded by a towering concrete Maze, replete with deadly monsters (Grievers) and traps (Blades). Oh, and did I mention the Maze is always changing, so it’s nearly impossible to find your way out? Or that those Grievers are huge, venomous, bionic spiders, whose poison basically turns you into a zombie? Yeah.

Every day, a select few Gladers, who’ve been designated as Runners (are the proper nouns annoying you yet?), venture into the maze to try to map it and uncover its secrets, returning before sundown when its giant, concrete mouth slams shut. No one’s ever survived a night in the Maze; several have lost their lives to it.

Enter Thomas (Dylan O'Brien), the latest Glader and the obligatory “chosen one” of this YA universe, who immediately demonstrates his Running prowess by rushing into the Maze and rescuing lead Runner Minho (Ki Hong Lee, who’s now starring as a clunky Korean stereotype in Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt) before – and you may have seen this coming – surviving a night in the Maze! Thomas is quickly followed by Teresa (Kaya Scodelario), the first ever girl to enter the Glade, whose arrival seems to trigger a string of other unusual, unwelcome events. But can the Gladers finally defeat the Maze, before it defeats them? There’s a sequel coming out in September, so… y’know. Probably.

The film is well-acted, written, and put together – the special effects felt subtle and believable, even though the majority of the locations can’t possibly have existed – and there’s a nice balance between action sequences and calmer, more story-driven moments. If I’ve got one criticism, it’s that The Maze Runner doesn’t really do anything that hasn’t been done before – and done better. Canadian cult classic film Cube and Nintendo DS adventure 999: Nine Hours, Nine Persons, Nine Doors are just two of the examples that spring to mind. There are hints towards the end of the film that its sequel might be very different, and explore far more interesting territory; it’s just a shame to have to wait so long for things to get going.

Overall, though, The Maze Runner has proven itself as one of the more solid, likeable YA series out there, and the fact its characters are treading old ground doesn’t make watching them tread that ground any less enjoyable. 

I’m giving The Maze Runner a well-deserved 4/5.

★★★★☆

Mike Lee

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Nightcrawler [used]

Everyone seems to love Nightcrawler, Dan Gilroy’s 2014 crime thriller starring Jake Gyllenhaal. At the time of writing, it holds a 95% “Certified Fresh” rating on Rotten Tomatoes, based on 223 reviews. Their summary says it “offers dark, thought-provoking thrills”. It was even nominated for the Best Original Screenplay Oscar. I feel like I have to mention all this, because I’m at a complete loss: the film I watched last night, on Blu-ray, didn’t offer me any thrills – least of all dark, thought-provoking ones. I guess what I’m saying is, I’m having a bit of a crisis of confidence, here. If you watch the trailer and think Nightcrawler looks like your kind of film, you shouldn’t necessarily take my word for it. That said, if you watch it and end up hating it, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Out now on DVD and Blu-ray comes Nightcrawler, and follows Louis “Lou” Bloom, a character who ticks every single box on the “movie sociopath” checklist, despite Gyllenhaal’s protestations that Bloom isn’t a sociopath. The first time we meet Bloom, a security guard catches him breaking into a construction site to steal scrap metal. Seconds later, the security guard is tackled to the ground. Moments after that, Bloom drives away wearing the guard’s designer watch. That’s the kind of guy Lou Bloom is.

After happening upon a film crew shooting footage of a car accident, Bloom is inspired to give up thieving and become a stringer – a freelance cameraman who sells footage to news networks. Bloom hires a desperate/naïve young guy called Rick (Riz Ahmed) as his assistant and has him eavesdrop on police radio channels to try to source the bloodiest, most compelling footage possible. He resorts to fabricating crime scenes in a bid to get the perfect shot. He coerces a morning news director (Rene Russo) into sleeping with him, in exchange for the footage she knows will save her career.

And that’s basically it. The film sort of plods along, with no real emotional peaks and troughs to speak of. Even the ending only really registers as “mildly surprising”: it fits far too neatly into the patterns established by the rest of the film to have much of an effect. There’s some interest to be had from trying to get into Lou Bloom’s head and figure out what makes him tick, and from watching his stunted interactions with the other characters, but it’s the same sort of interest you might get from reading an article or watching a nature documentary – I certainly can’t find anything that would make Nightcrawler “a modern masterpiece” (TwitchFilm), “deliriously thrilling” (The Playlist), or worthy of “★★★★★” (Empire). I just don’t get it. Even the film’s apparent message (“hey, you guys, the media is a bit evil!”) feels like an afterthought – which is surprising, considering the film was clearly built around it – and it’s been done in better, more interesting ways elsewhere.

I’m giving Nightcrawler one star for being attractive and well put-together, and a second star for being well-acted throughout. Gyllenhaal skilfully treads the line between likeable and creepy, whilst Ahmed – whom you might know from Four Lions or Channel 4’s Dead Set – delivers a quite frankly excellent performance as innocent, uncertain Rick. And that’s it.

2/5. I’ll leave it to you to figure out where those other three stars keep coming from.

★★☆☆☆

Mike Lee

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